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Tuesday, 20 March 2012

Just saying...



I'm back on my weight loss track...nutty me... I went two sizes down a while back and now I'm kind of stuck between 16 -18. Been doing the exercises and I also worked out a diet plan, I'm trying to be a perfect 14...oh no 16...whatever...I'm trying to be a healthy lady that's what's up.

I have been thinking and I will  want your opinion on this. At what point will I earn the right to stop calling myself self plus-sized? Is it when people stop calling me that? or when the BMI calculation says so?  or is it some state of mind ?

I have this friend, she is a size 14 and she calls herself fat..I mean she calls herself a "fat pig" and oh my.. she does have self esteem isssues, unfortunately she's not had so much as a stare from an eligible bachelor in months and she's dying silently.When you look at her for a long time or just innocently appreciates her, she becomes so uncomfortable and she keeps asking people around her if her cloth is too tight or jeans is too short or her face looks funny...all sorts of unimaginable questions. I look at her and I see a beautiful lady only she doesnt feel that beautiful.

It then dawned on me, fat or being plus -sized could be a personal thing. I mean I could be 3kg overweight and think I'm obese and some other person won't feel obese until they are 20kg overweight. Its all a state of mind, I want to believe. Happiness should come from within us. A person's weight or height or even race should not determine a person's level of hapiness, should it?

Being a plus- size should not make me unhappy or happy? People will always discrimate against you, whether you are size 0 or a size 20. Should you accept being discriminiated against? Capital NO.

I "feel" sad sometimes because I didn't get a dress I love in my size but that is only shortlived. I see people discriminate against plus sized people everyday I sometimes decide to explain why I think their opinions are incorrect and at some other times I just know some people are set in their minds and they will never just get it.  I choose to be happy because I have realised within myself that I am a healthy plus- size continually watching my diet, and doing all the stuff I do.

It's true that the society is designed around "normal sized" people whatever that means, and it's also true that there are some clothes I want to wear and I can't wear because of the designer's 11th commandment that says " Thou shall not be a plus sized lady". But whatever the society has come to accept can not cage me not in my fashion sense, not in my outlook to life. I won't be caged when I should be living, loving and enjoying my life.

Yes sometimes ...a lot of times I have failed in my attempt to be a "normal size", it sometimes make me feel crappy, but it also does not mean I have failed. It just means I am human.


P.S:
I advised my friend to see a counsellor, she took the advice just last month and I think she's doing a lot better already.

P.S.S:
Apologies for the errors, to those that read earlier. I took some time to make some corrections





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36 comments:

  1. Anonymous20 March 2012 at 11:24

    yes I agree with you. one's happiness should not depend on looks or whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oge (NR)20 March 2012 at 11:31

    The society might be designed around these so called "Normal Sized People" but ever wonder why in the midst of all the skinny radio hosts there are, people still love Toolz above all... she is not the skinniest of them all but she's rocking her curves. OWN IT! Is what I say

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  3. @ilola20 March 2012 at 11:54

    I want to believe being called and accepting to be a plus-size is not a state of mind. I believe there's a certain size that if one goes above, its regarded as plus size. However, I also believe that its not called plus-size to degrade such people, it is just for measurement sake and to cater to the needs of the people, since they are not in the majority.
    I believe self esteem comes from inside and not outside. Thats why some beautiful, slim people can have esteem issues. I am glad to know that your friend is doing better

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:21

      Trust me @ilola, I understand these things but I was worried about my friend i wish you knew her...and when I said I want to believe being plus size is a thing of the mind..I was just looking at it from her angle...cus to me a size 14 is not "a fat pig"..lols

      At the end of the day it all boils down to self esteem..true.

      Thanks for always stopping by

      Delete
  4. Luciano20 March 2012 at 12:25

    you are as beautiful as you feel. you have to start appreciating yourself first, carrying yourself well and every other person will do same

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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:23

      Gbam! I think my naughty friend understands this now.

      Delete
  5. Toinlicious20 March 2012 at 12:35

    The idea of the 'deal beauty' was what inspired this my post: http://toinlicious.blogspot.com/2012/03/barbie-beauty-myth.html

    As for me, as long as ur BMI is good and you're happy and healthy, you're fine. I been looking for ways to get more curves sef.

    p.s: Toolz is smoking!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:27

      Once your BMI is good and you are healty...its def fine

      Lol@ more curve...and yea! toolz rock !

      I remember reading the
      http://toinlicious.blogspot.com/2012/03/barbie-beauty-myth.html

      Thanks for stopping by, and you did a good job on that post.

      Delete
  6. Anonymous20 March 2012 at 16:35

    #gbam# Luciano.

    I liked that post Toin.

    Until you are satisfied within you :D

    weldone on the weight loss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:29

      Beeni o...it all starts from within.

      Thanks sis!

      Delete
  7. Cloud Nine21 March 2012 at 08:21

    Be happy the way you are. A weighing scale is not a litmus test on who you actually are. Exercise, eat healthy and stay healthy- don't try to fit into sizes;)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:30

      Gbam!

      You just rolled it all into a sentence.

      Thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  8. Nuellasource21 March 2012 at 12:08

    Ok as far as I'm concerned, I understood almost 2years ago that there's no point in trying to fit in. This conception of "normal" is what medias taught us but I think it's important to be in good health conditions first, once you've passed this step you need to start accepting yourself and the fact that you'll never be that "normal" because you are you. I lost weight and I'm feeling much better hence I'm still not thin, my belly is quite big my thighs are still big and I don't like my arms, I thought losing weight will make me feel "normal" and I still find some flaws on my body but I'm confident like I never was before!! I wear miniskirts bodycon skirts and shorts I can be myself now you know why? Not because I'm normal now but because it's a matter of state of mind, not that I'm feeling that much confident just that I accepted my body and stopped listening to people (can you believe some people are still calling me fat? lol it makes me smile myself because I realised that listening to people will make you be unhappy) My boyfriend made me feel so much confident too because I never thought I could find someone who will love me for everything I am.
    Hoping my words will help you and that you'll find this peace with yourself.
    (sorry if I made some mistakes english is not my speaking language).

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:32

      Awww...I read this and a smile crossed my face.

      You rock sis! That's the spirit

      Delete
  9. Oluwaseun S.21 March 2012 at 12:28

    Losing weight, gaining weight or whatever WILL NOT make you feel better about yourself! I had weight issues when I was in high-school. I wore a size 13 in pants (USA) and now I wear between sizes 3-7 depending on the brand. I had huge hips when I was in high-school, losing weight did not make the hips go away...in fact when I wear skirts or dresses, my hips are more visible. I've learned to accept my body as it is. If I don't, who will? Loving yourself no matter what size has to come from within, focus more on what you love about yourself and everything else will work itself out.

    You friend being too conscious will only make her look insecure. Well, I glad she's doing fine. Good luck on the diet/weight loss plan! :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:35

      Woo! you did well for yourself dear.

      I am glad she's doing well too. I am hoping ome day she'll come up here and write her story.

      Thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  10. Emaleecious21 March 2012 at 14:05

    Its all about the mind. Whatever you think of your self is what the world reflects or resounds back to you.

    I am also a "plus-sized" person working on my weight. God help us in our endeavour.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. dayor21 March 2012 at 17:36

      Yea..what you think of you is what the world resounds of you

      Amen o..lols

      Delete
  11. BSNC21 March 2012 at 19:17

    if you ask me i would say you are fun and loving yourself size lol.

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    1. dayor22 March 2012 at 08:49

      Thanks jare...& thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  12. A-9ja-Great22 March 2012 at 11:28

    Hmmmmmm,what can i say?! Your mind will determine what size you are!

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    1. dayor22 March 2012 at 17:16

      Beeni o! at least that's what its seeming like

      Delete
  13. HoneyDame22 March 2012 at 14:04

    Gbam!!!....well said honey, well said!!!
    I am not "normal sized", I am not fat, I am not flabby, I feel healthy but I will still like to lose some weight though I am not really sweating it. About 4 years ago, I felt I was too thin, I wanted to gain weight and that I did...and look where it got me now....:D

    My point is, human beings are by default insatiable...but we can control how much of our lives we let that command....

    Hi5 to team "plus-sized" joo!

    ReplyDelete
  14. dayor22 March 2012 at 17:19

    yes o! plus size rocks joor.

    True..we are just insatiable and yea we should control how much of our lives we let that command

    Thanks for stopping by sis!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Myne22 March 2012 at 17:29

    I smiled at your use of normal size, what is that? Please we're all normal as we are even if different and there is only average size :)

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  16. dosh23 March 2012 at 02:56

    First off, i'm with you a hundred percent, your size, race, height and whatever else shouldn't determine who you are or how you feel on the inside. Being a size 4/6 i get teased on the other end of the spectrum about how small i am and there was actually a time when i took pills to gain weight but that's a gist for another day.

    Secondly, when i saw "diary of a FAT naija girl", i almost didn't open your blog because "fat" is abit offensive and it sounds to me like you call yourself that as a defence mechanism, subconsciously or otherwise. As if, you're judging yourself before anybody gets the chance to do that...with words. If you define yourself by your size then how do you expect other people to define you? I look at your picture and i see a beautiful woman! You may be plus sized but the ONLY reason i or anyone else may ever call you "fat" is because that is what you call yourself, how you present yourself. You are more than what you look like, even if you're trying to lose some pounds and i'm really sorry if i haven't worded this correctly and ended up offending you. God bless you

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    1. dayor23 March 2012 at 08:30

      @dosh: You didnt in anyway offend me...what can I say? The name FAT Naija girl didnt come up because I was judging myself, This blog when I started it was supposed to be a blog that caters to loosing weight showing off my exercises, recipes and other issues plus -sized people face...It didnt eventually work out like I thought (gist for another day) ..anyway, that was how the name came up from my PR friend ....lol. I hope you get my drift?

      Anyway, thanks for saying something and for the follow too.


      God bless you too sis!

      Delete
  17. @adebsrk23 March 2012 at 14:55

    My fact is this (and take it Ade said so). Yea, it was all in the mind blah blah blah *include everything Oprah would say* BUT relationships, which you friend wants, require effort and one effort from her part would be to lose weight if needed. Everyone knows a fat person, you don't need any figure derived from BMI calculation, some guys were attracted to fat girls. She should seek out guys that would love those aspects of her only for her to change her lifestyle. Cause fact is when she gets what she want, because a satisfied need no longer motivates, she would go back to the way she was.

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    1. dayor23 March 2012 at 16:39

      Hmmm,true sir, true...and I guess she is reading this too.

      Thanks for stopping by

      Delete
  18. Molara Brown23 March 2012 at 19:44

    Never conform to society's definition of normal...life is too short to be bothered about all these unnecessary things...stay healthy is the ish for me.

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  19. follyflo29 March 2012 at 00:16

    HMMM tbh it took me a loong time to finally accept myself and realise that true beauty comes from within ( I know its a bit cliche' and cheesy but its just the truth) beauty fades! Also the size you are does not determine anything because there are different people out there with different shapes and sizes and they are still in relationships and happy! One thing i have come to realise is if you can't love, appreciate and accept yourself why should anyone else!

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  20. Anonymous16 August 2013 at 15:20

    Hi Dayor,
    Am visiting ur blog for the first time and as expected i went straight to 'plus-size issues'....talk abt passion.
    Here are my thoughts on the issue;
    * The BMI Calc is a only a guide that would enable you set a target for yourself weight wise. When embarking on this journey, it is important you set a goal for yourself and break the goal into Action plans setting timelines. Weightloss is a life project, u need to treat it that way. Once your are 5kg close to your BMI Ideal weight, you would see yourself and feel much better about your body.
    *In relation to your friend, being overweight is relative. If you have always been big (like me), you would see someone like that as an ingrate who is not grateful to God or appreciates the body given to her. However for someone who has always been skinning, being 3 to 5kg overweight is very alarming. So u see, it is highly relative.If she feels she is overweight, she should simply do something abt it instead of always talking about it....
    *In conclusion, it is very easy for someone who is overweight, still giving excuses and not doing anything abt it to say 'Its all in the head' but i would tell u all for free and from the perspective of smone who was overweight 28yrs of my life, it is better to live a healthy life than an obesed one. If not for anything, for the love of life and the fullness of it, lets all live healthy....

    Enjoy ur weekend and feel free to stop over at http://wotugotaloose.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous16 August 2013 at 17:05

    sorry http://wotugotaloose.wordpress.com/has just been changed to http://faddfitnessaddict.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete