DAY 5: WHY I WRITE...MOMENTS - Seye

It is easy to dispel the notion that everything we live for boils down to  relationships. I once did. But not anymore. You can do a survey with a sizeable amount of people who have had near death experiences and you will find out all individuals in this sample group have had memories of their loved ones flash through their minds at that seemingly last moment.

We make a living to first feed our stomachs and then make ourselves comfortable not for ourselves but for others who we care about and also  to put a smile on the faces of others who are either blood or those whose water  is close to blood.  We live for those moments where that day's entry in the diary remains blank, not because there's nothing to write but because words don't capture the exact expressions we want to convey.

A few years ago, I had that moment. That moment that doesn't get documented past a few lines of poetry. It was the Christmas Eve I would never forget. My day didn't seem to be following the slow pace of the clock. It just had a mind of its own while my mind was a little unsure about decisions I was going to make that night. But my decision was going to involve me changing my life. My life would shift to admit someone else. My life would move in a totally different direction forever. 

I had known her for over a year but distance and direction were not on our side. But we had found ways to conquer the greater enemy. Right now I was faced with the lesser of our fears and also one of the greatest decisions I would make.

Our family party was always on Christmas Eve and I was in charge of the logistics being the oldest grandson of the grandparents. I spent the first few hours introducing her to friends and family but still a little unsure of the status of things. Do I say "Oh meet my friend, Omolade?" or “Meet my 'Mrs.', Omolade?". Even my mother was waiting for the introductions, seeing the way we stuck to each other like evo-stik on paper.

The party was now getting hot, uncles and aunties dancing to D'Banj, Cousins and new friends hitting it off, the neighbourhood well aware of the groove that was happening in this single house in Omole Estate. But I was no longer aware of the music, of the party, or surroundings. I had taken a walk with her, down the lonely streets. All that was left to remind us of the party was the disposable cup in my left hand. My other hand in hers. She had beat me to the talking.

She recounted our first meeting, how she had perceived me and how she still did. I had to interrupt by telling her what I thought of her, my hesitations and then I realized time was going. It was going to be midnight. The fire crackers were going to be set, and worse of all, I was going to be identified missing from all of the celebration happening many steps away.  So we agreed to take the bold step, a step that would move us from thinking about self to thinking about a lifetime together. My face against hers, I had a moment, the moment I would never forget. http://seye.blogspot.com/2010/12/minute-of-christmas.html

I swore I saw a meteor drop at that very moment, but it was a shooting star. I made a wish at that moment. She couldn't hear. It wasn't for her to hear but it was a wish for us. The fireworks began and I knew it was Christmas.

I couldn't sleep that night. How would I sleep? I was first in rank to someone who I considered the most beautiful woman in the world. What was the next day going to be like? What would the future look like? It was Christmas day and the night before was just magical. And the spell hadn't worn out.  I have never liked Christmas but this one was different.

It's been a few years down the line and we are not together any more. Would I say it was a waste? We had both made life changing decisions in our careers just for the 'us' to happen. Was this a big mistake?

A romantic that I was at the time, I had ordered a custom pack of cards with the first letter of her name hatched in black velvet and filigree swirls on the front. 365 pieces. A poem for each day. I only delivered to her 6 of those cards before the 'misunderstandings' began. But was it a waste? A pint of wisdom older, I have learned that relationships are not about words but communication. Communication will drive the actions on their own.

 I must say these moments have given me even more inspiration for the moments to come. I see beyond the clashes and frailty of the humans that we are. I see more than ever the need to be one in person with the next person. However hard it is or whoever they are. If I had my own near-death experience, will I remember moments like this? This and many more.

Is it not for moments like this that I write?

“I've always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we'll have.”
― Anna Godbersen

Written by : Seye
Blogs at: www.seye.blogspot.com
Twitter handle: @seye