DAY 7: IT'S ALL PART OF LIFE'S JOURNEY - Nugwa

Cold.. That’s the first thing you’ll feel. The blistering cold of this new environment against your skin. You’ll want to cry but your lungs are filled with fluid. The fluid will get sucked out air will rush in, and you’ll let out the cry you so badly want to. It’s rather ironical that while you’re engulfed in so much pain, everyone around you seems to be happy. They’re happy because they’ve counted, and you look okay. Complete with ten fingers and ten toes. You don’t feel ok, but you’ll be fine..

The frustration of not being understood will be life’s first annoyance. They’ll cuddle you when you’re hungry, feed you when you’re dirty and change you when you’re sleepy. All you’ll be able to do is speak the very same language. Cry. They’ll be more confused when you start teething. That’ll be a bad time for everyone. Luckily it won’t last forever. Soon all that pain will fade away for the joy and excitement of your first walk. Your Mum  will probably cry, your dad will video tape the event. Your aunts and uncles will keep trying to make you repeat that feat. Probably to no avail. Making you fall all the time, but you’ll be fine.

You’ll feel the pain of separation soon. That first day when you’re dropped off at school. The tears of loneliness mixed with the apprehension of new faces, new surroundings and change. Change that you’re forced to make. You’ll cry but you’ll adapt.  Because you’ll soon learn that adaptation is something you have to keep doing. It will be met with disdain first, then acceptance. And before you know it, you’ll have talked to 3 other classmates that day. When the school bell rings and you see mummy waiting for you, you’ll run into her arms, smile, and realize that you’ll be fine.

You’ll leave the confines of home for boarding school. You’re just 10. Having been under mummy’s wings all your life, responsibility is thrust on your shoulders. Now you have to fend for yourself. You’ll soon learn that having food brought to you on the dining table is a luxury not a right. You’ll eat corn flakes for 3 days straight before the animal in you decides to wake up and fight for it’s life. There’s just one problem, the animal needs a stronger body that of an under-developed 10 year old. You’re not strong enough to rush for food in the dining hall with other students. And by the time hunger is done with you that first term and you return home, your mother will look at your malnourished body with tears in her eyes and reassure herself that there has to be a God in heaven who will avenge the evil in this world, including her kwashiorkor looking son. However, you’ll be fine.

You’ll be out with friends, it’s your second year in the university. You guys are chilling and making noise in the local ice-cream shop, then you’ll see her. Yes, Her. Your heart will stop for one second. Her eyes, the contact lenses make them look so beautiful. Her hair, all natural. It’s black color contrasts against her fair skin. She asks for a chocolate sundae, your favorite ice cream. You walk over, you offer to pay for her. She declines, smiles and walks off. You forgot to get her number. Idiot. Fate throws you a lifeline when you see her in the same campus shuttle bus with you two weeks later. You make no mistake this time. You step out of that bus feeling damn well mighty fine.

A year later, and you’re convinced she’s the love of your life. Your last bus-stop. Ada is everything you could ever want. Love is not the definition of what you feel for her. You’re sure there has to be something deeper than love, and whatever it is, THAT is what you feel for her. Those days where she’s playing with your afro, sitting on the edge of the bed, while you sit on the floor between her legs, you feel like time should stop. You want to stay there forever. You feel “at home” with her. She’s everything. So everything goes sour when one day she tells you she needs to talk, tells you she doesn’t see it working. Tells you there is someone else and she’s sorry. Tells you she hopes you’ll still be friends. She’s still talking but you’ve stopped listening. You feel a migraine and some chest pain at the same time. Confusion, anger, betrayal, depression. All these emotions come upon you at the same time. You walk away, not yourself for the next week. The adrenaline rush when you decide to try to win her back, the manic depression when all your efforts are met by failure. You forget about being a man and cry. You weep like a baby. You think your world has ended, but don’t worry, you’ll be fine.

You’ll graduate, get a job, get married, have kids and keep going.

Life will show you that it’s full off ups and downs, extreme joy and intense pain. You’ll enjoy your family, your friends, your enemies and most importantly yourself. You’ll live, laugh, love, lament and learn that as long as there’s life, there actually is hope and things can always get better. Your belief in the existence of an afterlife and a God who is waiting for you after everything ensures that you never take life too seriously. As much as you try your best, you never force the issue. Because at the end of the day, He has your back. And as long as He has your back, even if everything you face is all part of life, You’ll be fine.


You’ll be fine my dear.
You. Will. Be. Fine.

"Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact" -William James


Written: Nugwa
Blogs at: www.mindofthegods.wordpress.com
Twitter Handle: @nugwatweets